Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
