I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
