I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This is classic penis vs brain.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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