suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize