I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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