Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
