Four minutes until I can fart!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
