He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
