If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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