Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
