so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
