I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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