Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
