That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
