Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
