True but thats because hes a fetus.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
