FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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