google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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