I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
