Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
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He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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