She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
