belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
