based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
