question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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