I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
