I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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