During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize