i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
