I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize