And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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