We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just pee around me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
