If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
