I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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