Whod you bang
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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