there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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