idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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