Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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