On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
