I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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