yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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