Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
