Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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