i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
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I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
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Less talking, more tequila
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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