tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
