I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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