I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Randomize
