So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize