The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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