I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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