Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize