did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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