Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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