What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
