i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
