Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize