I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
