Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
