sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone