she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
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I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun