I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
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Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??