I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie