Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow