well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
